Sperm Donation, a Game Changer in the Dating World

When Dr Mary Barton published a paper about her work in the British Medical Journal in 1945 describing the use of donor sperm in Artificial Insemination for women whose husbands were considered infertile, the response to her paper was a universal disapproval. Fast forward thirty years and the views of society began to change as Donor Insemination (DI) became legal in the USA.

Although donor sperm can help you become a parent, regardless of your sexuality, gender, and marital status, the decision to start a family with the help of a sperm donor can be challenging.

There are many things to consider, such as finding the right fertility clinic, the treatment type or which sperm bank should to choose from (a UK based sperm bank or an overseas one), so how do you choose the right one?

While Dr Barton helped matching according to race, colouring and stature, nowadays, finding your ideal sperm donor became far easier as today most sperm banks openly display their donors database on their websites.

THE FIRST DATES

With a Guy

When you date someone for the first time, there’s not much you really ask about them. In many cases, especially with internet dating, you only get to see a picture, usually it’s the best one they can find of themselves, so you’re persuaded to connect and meet up. Sometimes things don’t look as promising as they did in the picture, so you stay polite and bear the rest of the evening.

The conversation might go as deep as, do they prefer Chinese or Italian food, do they have a pet, how many times did they watch Titanic and do they like Celine Dion, so one might say it’s all based on attraction.

With a Sperm Donor

On the other hand, if you are thinking about a “date” with a sperm donor and you are considering becoming a parent, then the questions you would ask would go much further and the conversation would change completely.

If you asked your regular date the same questions that you would ask a donor, they would run a mile, because there is a lot you will want to know about your sperm donor.

The relationship becomes more of a screening process as there are important steps to undertake prior to choosing the right individual, mainly because it can help to uncover any characteristics and traits that may either qualify, or disqualify, a potential sperm donor candidate before you make one of the most important decisions in your life.

Some of the most common things to look at when choosing a sperm donor is the donor’s physical appearance. It sounds like the first date again, right? Or you may prefer that the donor looks more like your partner, if you have one.

A good place to start is to decide the level of information you want about the donor and whether you want to give your child the opportunity to be able to contact him in the future.

THE SPERM DONATION PROCESS

Becoming a sperm donor is an altruistic gesture, especially in the UK where it’s not a money motivated activity, but rather a selfless contribution.

To be a sperm donor, you need to be within a certain age group, generally healthy, have no inherited serious medical conditions that may be of risk to your offspring and no infectious diseases, like HIV and hepatitis C.

For the first stage of the application, the clinic will ask the potential donor for a semen analysis, to analyse the sperm quality and to complete a medical questionnaire, which will include an assessment of the donor’s family health and medical history.

The donor will also need to have exceptional sperm and plenty of it! Sperm that’s capable of withstanding all the processes of fertility treatment, including freezing and thawing – not only sperm that can naturally fertilise an egg.

WHY USE A SPERM DONOR?

There are a number of logical reasons single women, heterosexual couples and same sex couples may use a sperm donor. Some single women who are looking to start a family don’t want to wait for Mr. Right and would rather become a single mother by choice, especially with the options available these days. The choice for heterosexual couples may come after many attempts at pregnancy, which ultimately encourages them to seek an alternative solution and use sperm donation. Same sex couples using a sperm donor have the unique advantage of shared motherhood and can enjoy the experience of having a genetic and close connection with the child. Luckily, more and more countries are opening up to give same-sex couples the same opportunities as other couples in starting a family.

Single, double or same sex, using a sperm donor has not only become more progressive, but an advanced technology in parenting, highly regulated, rigorous in it’s assessment process and a safer and healthier way to have children.

And in the end it was all worth it.